Ethel Merman Memorial Choir

The Ethel Merman Memorial Choir (“five-alarm group”—People) was founded in 1990, when its members discovered they shared a penchant for annoying people loudly, and seized upon the oeuvre of the venerated Broadway star as a more socially acceptable outlet. The group comprises anywhere from five to over a dozen loudmouths, some professional singers, most biologically female, and nearly all of them white. They are not asked to perform very often, but they are almost always begged to stop.